You Don't "Need" Social Media

A Dummy's Puppet's Ramblings - from Chip Martin, Mannequin American

You Don't "Need" Social Media
It's interesting to me that Apple has shunned the social media campaigns that others profess as having displaced old-fashioned methods of getting in front of customers. It has no Twitter feed, provides no payola to twenty-somethings so that they'll blog about its products and there's no Apple Facebook page.

Apple is proof that "talking" is not a substitute for "selling." Every communication from Apple sells something ... including its humorous, attention-getting "I'm a Mac" TV spots which deliver basic product and service benefits.

Social media is not something brands have to use. It's a tool, nothing more ... and Apple understands that. Apple isn't in the business of talking. It's in business to make and sell cool products. There's something very refreshing about that ... not to mention very profitable, as well.

Having said all of that, Apple brands remain the most talked-about, according to Vitrue's annual social-media report. The iPhone is the most buzzed-about brand for the second year running, while iTunes and Apple itself also placed in the top 10. Apple demonstrates that the challenge for companies isn't to find new ways to talk, or to talk more often. The challenge is to develop new products or services that are worth talking about.

Okay, Enough with the Photoshopping

Via AdRants: I know that virtually every ad photo is photo shopped to death to create unattainable perfection. In fact, if you look closely, many are photo shopped so much and so badly that they create subtle, but undeniable deformities.

For example take the Lane Bryant ad above, currently viewable on the plus-size clothier's homepage. See anything strange? Does the human bellybutton normally reside a few inches above its owner's right thigh? Creepy.

A few months ago there was a social media firestorm over the photo shopped cover of Demi Moore that removed part of her hip, (below).

In Tweets Moore denied any photo shopping claiming that she was "skinny ... in a good way." Yeh, sure.  Let's either stop trying to make people look "perfect" or find people capable of using Photoshop without disfiguring the models.

No Need to Force Husbands to Grocery Shop

Above, a robot named "Robovie-II", developed by Japanese robotics research institution ATR, moves around a grocery store in Kyoto, Japan. The robot greets shoppers at the entrance of the store, follows them to the shelves while holding a grocery basket and reminds them of the items on their shopping list, which the shopper enters beforehand in a special mobile device. The robot is still in the testing phase.

Another Banned Super Bowl Ad

From AdLand: The WSJ blog says: CBS Puts Kibosh on Potential Super Bowl Ad from KGB and Adfreak quips CBS does not want KGB's head-up-ass spot. I swear, ever since that horse fart there seems to be a competition in who can get the dumbest ad to air during the bowl.

Click here to see KGB-Head Up His Butt commercial that was banned from this weekend's Super bowl.

You're Buying More ... ?

Have you purchased more of anything since the economy went sour? How about chocolate?

According to a report from London market research firm Mintel, when the world goes into an economic downturn, it turns to chocolate.

Chocolate sales rose in several countries in 2009, especially in China, 18% and the Ukraine, 12%. Other countries have also seen chocolate bars, bags and boxes flying off the shelves. Brits drove their chocolate market up 5.9% this year, while Americans purchased 2.6% more chocolate than in 2008. Argentinean sales rose 1.8%, while in Belgium, a country that claims to produce some of the world's best chocolate, sales increased by 3.2%.

Apparently chocolate is a small, affordable indulgence for shoppers who may be cutting back on spending elsewhere. I guess layoffs and furloughs are enough to distract people from the temptation of Hershey bars.

Funeral Home Returns Mom's Brain With Personal Items

File this under "things you didn't want to know." According to a lawsuit filed in New Mexico State District Court in Albuquerque, a woman's brain was returned to her family in a bag of personal effects. The woman died in a car accident in Utah on Sept. 28. Two funeral homes are currently blaming each other for the mishap, and a shipping company is also named in the lawsuit.

One of the funeral home owners explains why the brain was in a bag: "Rather than try to reinsert the brain into a damaged head, it is common practice to ship it inside a bag," he said. "If we put it back in (the head), it could have been a soggy, leaky mess."

Well, it's hard to argue with that.

I Still Look the Same

The photo above must be about 17 years old, judging by the apparent age of Dale's daughter, Lauren, holding an early version of Louie the Jockey. Lauren teaches high school English now. Behind her is a young Jeff Dunham with Peanut. In the Center is my creator, figure maker extraordinaire, Alan Semok, holding my cousin, Eugene. And finally, a younger but still dorky-looking Dale Brown ... holding me. You'll notice that I look exactly the same today as I did then. I should do commercials for Oil of Olay ... or Thompson's Water Seal, whichever company contacts me first.

By the way, the International Ventriloquists' Convention has a new Web site. Click here to see it.

Tips for Improving Your Business in 2010

A Dummy's Puppet's Ramblings - from Chip Martin, Mannequin American

Five Tips for Improving Your Business in 2010

I've been seeing a lot of business resolution lists for 2010. Most of them have been pretty meaningless and lacking any real "meat." But I did cull out 5 things that I think can benefit many businesses.

1. Stay in front of customers and prospects. A critical lesson from 2009 is that every customer is important. That means calling, emailing, visiting and (shudder) listening. Make yourself continually visible to customers and prospects by increasing your communication efforts, whether online, word-of-mouth, seminars, tradeshows, press releases, Web site updates, blog ... whatever. Get out there and stay out there.
2. Go to the cloud. Switch more of your business applications to be Internet-based - rather than based on a server or desktop. Yes, there's usually a monthly charge, but there's continual upgrades at no extra charge, backup/security (if you choose a highly reliable provider), and access anywhere there's an Internet connection.
3. Learn more about social networking. Yes, much of social networking is hype; but some is realistic. Learn enough about these to see whether it's worth your time and money to develop a social networking strategy for your particular business. Create a profile on LinkedIn, start a Facebook page, check out Twitter. These may not be appropriate for your business, but you should know what they're about before just dismissing them out of hand.
4. Start a newsletter ... traditional or e-mail. If you already have a newsletter, send it out more frequently. (see #1) Make sure there's always something of value for the reader ... even if it's just a chuckle. Otherwise it'll go straight to the recycle bin. My award-winning printed newsletter (B&M's newsletter, actually) has been published regularly for nearly 20 years. If a copy gets lost in the mail you can bet the person who was suppose to receive it, calls us. Our newsletter is popular because it's unique, fun and useful. If you want to see some back issues, click here.
5. Lastly and most importantly, always keep in mind what truly matters. (See Dale's note below.) Make 2010 a year of gratitude for health and happiness. Do your part to increase the world's supply of joy and opportunity.

KFC Ties "Fiery" Wings Promotion with Community Service

Via AdFreak: Last year, KFC fixed potholes in five U.S. cities in exchange for putting some "Re-Freshed by KFC" brand messaging on the street. Now, it's offering to improve fire hydrants, extinguishers and smoke alarms in towns across the nation to help promote its new "fiery" chicken wings.

"Is your city feeling the heat?" asks KFC president Roger Eaton in a letter to U.S. mayors. "We invite you to tell us why we should help you extinguish the problem in your community."

To kick things off, KFC upgraded hydrants in Brazil, IN (above), and provided 33 new fire extinguishers and 1,000 new smoke detectors to Indianapolis. It accepted funding requests through Jan. 28 and will announce the winning cities soon.

Who Knew NV Prostitution Only Meant Women?

I file this under things I never thought about until I read about them in a newspaper. That means that I never really thought about it, but in the back of my mind I guess I assumed that legalized prostitution in NV covered both sexes. I was wrong.

Nevada is the only U.S. state to allow some legal prostitution. Currently eight out of Nevada's 16 counties have active brothels. Contrary to popular belief, prostitution is not legal in Las Vegas ... which doesn't mean it doesn't happen ... it's just not legal. And don't get me started about those guys who push cards and flyers in your face as you try to walk down the street in Vegas.

Anyway, until recently men were effectively banned from legally plying the world's oldest profession in NV by the specificity of a state health law requiring prostitutes to undergo frequent "cervical testing" for sexually transmitted diseases. The term "cervical" disqualified men. Who knew?

However, the health board recently approved a regulation to allow urethral testing for men. So now the owner of The Shady Lady, a brothel more than two hours' drive from Las Vegas, hopes to hire Nevada's first legal male prostitutes within a month. But are women ready for "Stud Farms?" Judge for yourself by reading this article from ABC News.

On the other hand, the Shady Lady is now looking for "a few good men," so you can apply by going to their Web site.

While We're on the Subject ... Sort of ...

A reader of this blog who wishes to remain anonymous, claims that she found this Web site on the back page the Village Voice. I don't know why she thought I'd be interested in it ... but there may be female readers out there who will be. And I suppose the hardworking men of Jockstrap Maid Service deserve some exposure, so to speak.

The service is just what you'd think ... cleaning services by men in jockstraps. I went to the Web site. I know it's not aimed at me; but in my opinion some of the guys need to wear more clothing, not less.

Embrace Life ... Always Wear Your Seatbelt

We've all seen PSAs that resort to harrowing images to pound the message of safe driving into our heads.

I encourage you to click here to see a wordless ad with the same message, but without graphic violence ... and it's still able to induce tears in the process. "Embrace Life" is from the Sussex Safer Roads Partnership in the UK. But the ad is non-language specific, so that the message won't become lost when viewed by visitors outside the UK where English might not be their first language." If you've got kids who drive, forward this to them.

A Personal Note from Dale Brown
This year marks the 30th anniversary of a visit my brother and sister-in-law made to my home for dinner and to share in the excitement of my first television appearance. I had won a talent contest in Milwaukee and as a result was a featured performer on a local television show, which had been taped earlier. We sat around the television talking, laughing and waiting for my four minutes of fame. I was really happy that Ray, who was six years my senior, was there to share in the celebration of my modest achievement.

After the show was over we talked some more and laughed some more and then Ray and Carol left for home. It was the last time I ever saw him. A drunk driver who was traveling the wrong direction on the freeway killed my brother in a head-on collision. Ray was 39.

Ray never had a chance to meet my daughter; he wasn't around to offer advice as I faced the challenges of starting up my own company; he never knew that I would drive a racecar or perform in Las Vegas; and he wasn't there to help care for our parents as they grew old or to share in the grief of their loss.  I still miss him. His death was a tough way to learn that, "There is a first time and a last time for everything ... and sometimes you don't even get that."

Life can be hazardous. But I don't believe that means we should try to live risk-free. On the contrary, if you just let life happen, you risk missing out on "living." The road not taken ... the destination not explored ... the adventure not pursued ... all lead to regret. I don't believe that Ray had many "regrets," when it came to "living."

Ray and I were friends as well as brothers. Thirty years after his passing, his influence continues to impact the way I live my life. Thanks Ray. We're still thinking of you.  

Successful Email Marketing Requirements

A Dummy's Puppet's Ramblings - from Chip Martin, Mannequin American

Successful Email Marketing Requirements
If you're thinking about implementing an email marketing program, lean on people who can help you avoid common mistakes.

Experienced email experts can guide you through the ins and outs of:

• Proper design
• Landing your email in the inbox.
• Words/phrases to avoid
• The correct ratio of images to text

Experience has taught those of us who craft effective content what works and what doesn't.

It's also important to know how much text to include, the type of text, what types of images are most likely to get clicked on and much more.

Seriously ... You Should Have Gotten Underwear for Christmas
 

(What does a Mannequin American have to do to get invited to a Jockey underwear fashion show?)

From our friends at BizTimes: According to a survey by Kenosha-based underwear manufacturer Jockey International Inc., 43% of Americans say they need new underwear. Equally important, 21% say that their significant other needs new underwear.

I guess all of our gift-giving-dilemmas for 2010 are solved.

A previous survey indicated that 25% of Americans own underwear that is 5 or more years old (are you kidding me?) and 79% have underwear that is "tattered, discolored or stained." Thank goodness I don't wear underwear, or that last statement would gross me out.

As long as I'm referencing Milwaukee BizTimes, this week's issue contained an article on the new State Fair Park director and the many challenges he will face. To help "drive" the point home, the publication used a photo of Dale in his racecar, crossing the finish line at the Milwaukee Mile in front of grandstands devoid of any spectators.   (Maybe they were blaming him for the poor attendance?)

Attention-Getting Bus Wrap

From Ads of the World: This bus wrap for the Copenhagen Zoo shows a giant constrictor snake squeezing a city bus. Looks like something Signs and Lines, by Stretch would do. Impressive and attention-getting.

Vent Haven Convention 2010

Dale (above with Louie the Jockey) will be a featured lecturer at the 2010 International Ventriloquists' Convention, July 14 - 17, in Ft. Mitchell, KY.  The workshop will be based on Dale's book, "Putting Money Where Your Mouth Is ... How to get those first paying jobs as a ventriloquist." I'm assuming I'll make an appearance at the workshop ... otherwise, why else would they have invited Dale?

For more information about the conVENTion go to its Facebook page by clicking here, (and become a "friend" to keep up with the latest news) or go to the conVENTion Web site by clicking here.

If you'd like to view or purchase any of Dale's books, click here.

The Risks of Celebrity Spokespersons

A Dummy's Puppet's Ramblings - from Chip Martin, Mannequin American

Tiger's Cost to Corporate Sponsors, $12 Billion

From the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel: Two University of California-Davis professors pinned the loss to shareholders from Tiger Woods' marital infidelity at $12 billion.

The researchers studied the stock market for 13 days after Woods crashed his car outside his Florida home on Nov. 27 and later confessed to infidelity. The economists compared returns for Wood's sponsors to those of the total stock market and of each sponsor's closest competitor. The study focused on nine sponsors: Accenture, American Express, AT&T, Tiger Woods PGA Tour Golf, Gillette, Nike, Gatorade, TLC Laser Eye Centers and Golf Digest. Shareholder value fell 2.3% ... or about $12 billion. The pattern of losses is unlikely to stem from ordinary variation of stock prices the researchers said.

A Poor Solution to the Risks of Celebrity Spokespersons
Tiger's trysts could put a huge dent in the entire "celebrity spokesperson" industry ... except for those companies that use "dead celebrities."

After all, living celebrities can be difficult. They can be demanding, hard to work with and may have actual standards about the products they endorse. No such trouble with dead celebrities. And dead celebrities won't make headlines for beating up a spouse, being adulterers, or going on the disabled list.

John Wayne pitched for Coors from beyond the grave.  Several years after his death, Fred Astaire danced with a vacuum cleaner in a TV commercial. Albert Einstein is clearly the busiest corpse with at least three marketing campaigns running at all times.

Even Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. was peddled for 30 pieces of silver by his family ... oops, sorry; licensed by his estate to be used as a representative for a telecommunications commercial and a wireless provider.

Frankly I find the "dead celebrity endorsements" to be reprehensible. I don't want images of people like Gandhi or Amelia Earhart to elicit responses like, "Hey, that's the person who endorses Snapple!"

So like Dr. King, I too have a dream. I have a dream that marketing grave robbing ceases. And that pure profit motive is replaced by purity of motive.

Like I said, it's just a dream.

Unnecessary Dairy Overlap
Leslie Bonk sent me the cartoon below. I'm sorry I don't know the originator. But I have noticed that the claim is true. And it also gave me the opportunity to use the words "isosceles" and "tessellate" in a single blog entry. Couldn't pass that up.

Clever, Attention Getting and Not That Easy

One of my favorite TV commercials of 09 was the American Express "Don't Take Chances" ad (above) that finds "faces" in everyday objects. The commercial explains that when things you purchased with an American Express Card are broken or stolen, American Express will have them repaired, replaced or they will credit your account. But it's the visuals that get and keep your attention.

Clever, effective and entertaining. And if you think it's easy to find "faces" in everyday objects, look around your office, home and on the street. You'll quickly learn that it's not that easy ... which makes the creative talent behind this commercial all the more impressive. 

The Funniest Commercial Walmart Has Ever Done

There's nothing more to say. Just click here and laugh.

My Favorite Corvette

In an on-going effort to help take my readers' minds off of bitter winter weather, I thought I'd share with you, my favorite photo of a 1962 Corvette (above). You're welcome.

And while we're talking about Vettes, GM is recalling some 22,000 Corvettes because of potentially leaky roofs. A problem with the adhesive between the roof panel and the frame could cause them to pull apart, thus causing a leak or worse yet, the roof panel could completely detach ... which would be bad for the car behind you on the freeway.  The recall includes 2005-07 Corvettes with removable roofs and 2006-07 Corvette Z06s. 

And while we're on the subject, above is a photo of the interior of Dale's Vette showing the "Heads Up" display on the windshield. The display is a safety feature which enables drivers to see data without having to take their eyes of the road.  Information includes speed, RPMs, water temp, lateral G forces and more. (Having a G force gage in a car seems a lot like having a breathalyzer in a bar ... in both cases there will be people who want to see how high they can get the gauge to register. I assume that's what Dale is doing while I'm being hurled from one side of the trunk to the other!)