2010, 2011 PRSA WI Paragon Award of Excellence

About this blog

A Dummy's Puppet's Ramblings - from Chip Martin
Mannequin American views and guidelines on marketing/PR trends, news from the world of puppets and ventriloquism, bits of humor and other interesting but useless information. I post every Tuesday and Friday.
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September 2018 - Posts

Dog Lovers Will Love This

A Puppet's Ramblings - from Chip Martin, Mannequin American Marketer
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“With this, I will control your life.”

Chip Shot: I told my psychiatrist that I hear voices. He told me that I don’t have a psychiatrist.

Signs That Caught My Glass Eyes










Vintage Ads that Wouldn’t Fly Today


I bet they’re still laughing.



“Shoots like a real gun,” but it’s “Completely Safe.” And the kid thwarts a bank robbery with his $1 toy gun.



“Let’s see … how should we sell our bikes to kids? I know, we’ll put a naked lady in the ad!”

Dog Lovers Will Love This



The cascade of “walking aromas” forms the basis of this entertaining 30 second ad for My Dog Home Recipe.

“Pump it Out. Pump it Out. I’m Milking My Ladies”



Because “pumping shouldn’t make you feel like a dairy cow,” here is a hilarious musical ad for the Elive Breast Pump, the world’s first silent wearable breast pump.





The Most Dangerous Roads in America

A Puppet's Ramblings - from Chip Martin, Mannequin American Marketer
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Maybe I drink because you pretend to throw the frickin ball, Jeff!

Chip Shot: I’m not having a glass of wine. I’m having six. It’s called a “tasting” and it’s classy.

Newspaper Miscues

Pretty sure they meant “firsthand.”



Signs That Caught My Glass Eyes


You’ll Find these European Driving Laws Strange

England: It’s illegal to start your car prior to entering it
In other cold countries, you can hit the remote start and have the car nice and toasty before you sit your cold ass down. Not in England. They consider it air pollution.

Also in England: A driver can park a car in any direction Instead of parking your car in the direction of traffic, you just shove your car in whatever way it fits.



Turkey: Drivers must cary a fire extinguisher at all times
In Turkey, you can’t start you car without one in it. In case of an accident, they want to make sure you can handle it before the firefighters get there. I wonder if this means Turkish cars are more flammable.

Belgium, Poland and Greece also have this rule.



Germany: Driving with clothes on isn’t necessary
I’ve got to move to Germany. There, you’ve got no speed limits and your car is considered your private space, so you don’t need clothes. It’s just illegal to purposely show off your genitals, but if you’re just cruising with your driveshaft down on the seat (if you know what I mean), then you’re good. Definitely redefines what driving topless looks like.

Germany: It’s illegal to run out of fuel on a highway
They’ll let you drive naked, but if you run out of gas and need to hike somewhere, you’ll get fined. This probably ties in with the lack of speed limits on highways. If you suddenly stop, it’s dangerous to everyone around you. 

Cyprus: Drinking water while driving is illegal
While a car is in motion and/or turned on, you cannot take a sip of water. You need to pull over and shut off the car, if you’re feeling thirsty on a hot day.


France: Must own a breath testing device for each car
For a country that loves wine, they’re pretty tight about drinking and driving, which isn’t a bad thing. In order to keep people safe, the legal limit for blood alcohol is 0.02%, and each car must supply their own testing device.



Spain: A driver must have an extra pair of glasses
Obviously, if you need glasses, you’d wear them while driving, but if you get pulled over and you don’t have a spare, you’ll get fined and towed. Spain requires you have a backup pair. Portugal too.



Switzerland: No washing cars on a Sunday
You’re gonna have to move that Swiss chocolate and bikini carwash fundraiser to a new day. This is an odd holdover from the early days of catholicism in the country that says you need to keep the lord’s day holy.

Malta: You don’t need to use your turn signals
While the rest of the world has rules about signalling your intentions, Malta has no such thing. You can just switch lanes without letting the people around you know. Apparently many people in WI must be originally from Malta. 

Some of the most dangerous roads in America



Highway 1 in Florida
Having the highest fatal crash rate will land you on a list like this, and that’s exactly what the Overseas Highway has. Known as the most dangerous road in all of the US, 1,079 people have died while travelling this Florida Keys highway within the last 10 years.

I-45 in Houston
With an average of 56.5 fatal accidents per 100 miles of roadway, Interstate 45 was ranked as the second deadliest highway in the US in 2016. The most dangerous part of the route runs through Houston, where 51 fatal wrecks happened between 2011 and 2015.

I-4 in Florida
Recently ranked as the most deadly interstate in the US, the 132-miles of Interstate 4 have seen 1.41 deaths per mile in the last six years. It’s also been on the list of the top 10 most dangerous interstates for the same period of time.

Highway 17 in South Carolina
Highway 17’s beauty disguises its decpetive dangers. Covered with a canopy of trees in certain stretches, it sure is something to look at. But you’ll have to keep your eyes on the road as you navigate the sharp, blind curves while trying to avoid the wildlife, like deer and mountain lions, that have been known to jump out right in front of your car.


I-15 in Nevada
In 2010, a 181-mile stretch of Interstate 15 between Las Vegas and Los Angeles was named the most deadly stretch of road in the US. Studies showed that in only 15 years, 1,069 people had lost their lives there.







Strangest 15 Second Ad of All Time

A Puppet's Ramblings - from Chip Martin, Mannequin American Marketer
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I have no idea what happened here, but I bet it was epic.

Chip Shot: It’s funny that “butt dialing” and “booty calls” are two completely different things.

Finally, Realistic Mannequins for Men’s Clothing



Clever Marketing

Not Clever Marketing


I don’t even know what this place is selling?

Strangest 15 Second Ad of All Time

What are your odds of getting approved for a credit card? This 15 second ad for Credit Karma is pretty darn funny … strange, but funny.

Here’s another one.  And another one (odds of ever having sex again). And another one.

The Doctor Told Dale That at His Age He Should Put a Bar in His Shower





Fashion Marketing Miscues

A Puppet's Ramblings - from Chip Martin, Mannequin American Marketer
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Chip Shot: If I got $5 for every time I won a math contest, I’d have $37.

More Signs That Caught My Glass Eyes


Close enough.



(But apparently, someone is watching)


Fashion Marketing Miscues





These Made Me Laugh


Close enough.



This is what happens the first time you smoke weed.

Funny Vaginal Dryness Ad


“Pop it on your downstairs.” Here’s a pretty funny British ad for Vagisan MoistCream for vaginal dryness.





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