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A Dummy's Puppet's Ramblings - from Chip Martin
Mannequin American views and guidelines on marketing/PR trends, news from the world of puppets and ventriloquism, bits of humor and other interesting but useless information. I post every Tuesday and Friday.
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January 2012 - Posts

Marketing's Social Media Fatigue

A Puppet's Ramblings - from Chip Martin, Mannequin American Marketer

"If you walk around with your fly zipped all the time, people are going to have high expectations of you. You don't want that."
Chip Martin

Marketing's Social Media Fatigue

Personally, I'm suffering from social media fatigue. My guess is that I'm not alone.

As a marketer, when I read about a new social media opportunity, my response is often, "Oh no! Not another site to monitor and maintain!"

Big brands are managing an overwhelming number of social media accounts, with an average of 178 accounts per company according to a recent study. (Altimeter surveyed 144 corporations with 1,000 employees or more including Applebee's, Avaya, Caterpillar, Hallmark, JP Morgan Chase, Newell Rubbermaid and Western Union.)

In truth, many companies launch social media programs with little planning and without standardized processes. With the an ever increasing explosion of new social media platforms, these companies find themselves at risk of abandoned accounts, inconsistent experiences for customers and potential PR crises.

Uncoordinated social media efforts can cripple a company's marketing and PR efforts and budgets. So let's hope that 2012 will be the year that companies wake up to the need for sound strategies and tighter corporate controls for Social Media.

Funny Insurance Commercial

Click here to see an entertaining commercial for 1st for Women Insurance Brokers. It's worth a look.

Entertaining French McDonald's Commercial

A new commercial for McDonald's France pits a lumberjack against a farmer in increasingly ridiculous competitions ... all to promote two new sandwiches ... the McTimber and the McFarmer. Quite amusing actually. Have a look.

Too Clever for Words

Two Ads That Made Me Say, "Huh?"

The ad above for an Israeli fitness club poorly Photoshops a clothed woman sitting with her legs dangling in a pool. The cutline says "Tired of people dressing you up with their eyes?" It's a tad too demeaning for my taste. Probably because it hits too close to home.

The cutline for this Science Diet dog food says, "For healthy digestion." Funny ... yet a little disturbing.

Vintage Undie-odor Ad


According to this ad for Lux "undie detergent," you may not notice if your undies have an odor, "but others do." As a result, your undies "will tell your friends" that you smell.

I don't know .... I think from the photo in the ad, she's a ventriloquist.



Dreadful Tourism Ad

A Puppet's Ramblings - from Chip Martin, Mannequin American Marketer

Arrive a Guest. Leave a Legend. Better Yet, Don't Go.


Apparently the North Dakota Tourism agency hired an agency based somewhere in 1977 to produce the ad above, where two men in a bar sporting high-fashion items such as a teal shirt with the collar popped out on the blazer and those fancy zip-up boots, ogle giggling women parading outside on the street. The headlines - there's two of them - read Dinner. Drinks. Decisions. Arrive a guest. Leave a legend.

I don't even know where to begin pointing out all of the downsides to this ad ... so I'll just leave it up to you to find the things that disturb you the most.

Best Non-alcoholic Beer Ad Ever

Infomercials Get Away with Gobs of Double Entendres

Schtick it to Him

If you always wanted to "Schtick it" to your husband ... here's an infomercial for Schticky that gets away with double entendres that would never fly in other forms of marketing.

Hot Booties ... No Not That Kind of Bootie

And while we're on infomercials, here's one that's so bad I bet it sells a ton of product. According to the ad, "Much, much more than just slippers, Hot BootiesTM are the perfect accessory for your Snuggie." It's also an indicator of America's lazy descent from being an economic powerhouse to nation of hoarding, comfort-seeking shut-ins.

"Just place the booties in the Booty BagTM and microwave for 60 seconds." Laugh at the name, laugh at the production values of the ad, but don't laugh when they bring in more money in a day than you'll make in your entire life. The lazy consumer has arrived as an important market player, and he's not getting up anytime soon.

Vintage Ad of the Day

Just to prove that when you use sex to sell, you don't need words, here is a vintage ad featuring Sophia Loren for Honda mopeds. It doesn't matter the copy isn't in English ... you wouldn't read it anyway.

If you're wondering why they don't show her riding a scooter it's probably because she doesn't know how. But it's nice how her breast points to the product. You can't ask for a better endorsement than that.

Tormenting Babies for Laughs

Okay, just for laughs click here to see babies tasting lemons for the first time. I bet you catch yourself making a face while you're laughing.

Why You Can't Make a Living in Social Media

A Puppet's Ramblings - from Chip Martin, Mannequin American Marketer

You Can't make a Living in Social Media

You heard it here folks. This is not exactly what all the social media zealots out there would have you believe. Via Steve Tobak: Granted, all companies monitor social media, but 82 percent of them are primarily searching for competitive intelligence, according to a Forrester Research survey.

As for all the social media marketers and entrepreneurs who think they've really got something big going on, that's just wishful thinking. Check out what Michael Crosson, founder of LinkedIn's 250,000-member Social Media Marketing group, had to say in an email on the subject:

"Social media as a business itself is essentially a B2B service. If it is not used for a commercial purpose, then it is not generating revenue and therefore not a viable alternative form of employment. There are a limited number of people who are doing very well...but the average citizen would have a hard time of making a living at it."

Crosson should know. As the founder and moderator of one of LinkedIn's (LNKD) biggest groups, the man doesn't get paid a penny for his nearly fulltime efforts, a practice he believes is industry-wide.

The Next Revolution in Beauty ... FotoShop


Fotoshop by Adobé from Jesse Rosten on Vimeo.

Okay, if you want to be entertained while learning how and why the models in all those ads always look so perfect, click here.

When this spoof asked, "Why eat healthy and exercise when you can just look like you do?" I said: "Exactly!"

In a very tongue-in-cheek way, you can learn how to transform your looks the way celebrities do! Particularly amusing are the promises to give you "lashes that never end" and learning how to "adjust your race."

Slapstick and Yoda ... Marketing Doesn't Get Much Better Than That

That's Brisk Baby! Click here to see a pretty darn funny commercial for Brisk that ties into the new 3-D Star Wars movie. Really, it's funny.

P.O.P Fail of the Day

"The iFloat Unlocked Mobile Phone is the world's first mobile phone to float on water," says Dick Smith. I think the product needs more testing.

How Many Bunnies Does it Take to Make a Rabbit?

Every ad guy's fantasy photo shoot, above, for a Playboy ad.

Inspirational Billboard


The company that does this "Pass It On" campaign is called The Foundation for a Better Life, and they're celebrating their 10th anniversary by bringing back one of their most inspirational (not to mention sensational and Muppetational) ads.

The ads have been spotted at a few bus stops and pay phones in Manhattan. Look for them in your neighborhood!

Bret McKenzie and Kermit Sing "Life's a Happy Song"

Just because I like Kermit. Click here or on the link above to see and hear "Life's a Happy Song."

Formula for Lingerie Ads

A Puppet's Ramblings - from Chip Martin, Mannequin American Marketer

Suck it Up

I don't know if this is a real Dyson Vacuum commercial or not ... but it's funny as heck.

Here's the Formula for Lingerie Ads

If there's anything that can be said about lingerie ads, it's this. There's a formula. And we're going to share it with you. It's simple really. Grab a skinny model who has big boobs. Dress her in your slinkiest offerings. And film her in motion. But...make sure you film her in slow motion. That's the real secret. That way the camera can slowly glide over every inch of her.

Of course, Calvin Klein didn't follow all these rules for its Naked Glamour shoot with Lara Stone but they did OK. I'm complaining.

More Lingerie Ads

While we're on lingerie ads, Israeli model and sometime actor Bar Refaeli will be featured in a new spring/summer 2011 campaign for the Passionata lingerie brand. Refaeli was also featured in the brand's autumn/winter 2010 campaign.

The curvaceous model can be seen sporting all manner of undergarments in the new campaign. She even hops into a laundry basket...with heels on no less.

Great Ad for World's Thinnest TV

Here's a silent ad that most viewers can't take their eyes off of ... and for good reason. You'll wonder what's going on, and in the end, you're not even sure that it's an ad. Well done.

Toilets on the Big Screen

If you happened to see the new The Muppets movie, you may have noticed the rather unusual product placement of KOHLER® toilets. The bathroom fixtures made a cameo appearance when Gonzo, a rich plumber who owns Gonzo's Royal Flush, offers Kermit and Fozzie Bear a "seat," saying, "You should try one. Comfy!"

Vent ConVENTions of Long Ago

This photo was taken at a Vent Convention in the late 80's. Dale may even have been the chairman of the convention. Jeff Dunham, who obviously copied Dale's fashion sense in clothes and hair style, was not yet the highest paid comedian in the world. But you could tell that he wanted the spot light and was jealous when anyone else stole it from him.

Of course I'm kidding ... except for the "copying Dale" part. In any case everyone at Brown & Martin, Inc. wants to congratulate Jeff on his recent engagement to Audrey. They make a great couple. And thankfully, Audrey now picks Jeff's clothes out.

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