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A Dummy's Puppet's Ramblings - from Chip Martin
Mannequin American views and guidelines on marketing/PR trends, news from the world of puppets and ventriloquism, bits of humor and other interesting but useless information. I post every Tuesday and Friday.
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December 2011 - Posts

Happy New Year

A Puppet's Ramblings - from Chip Martin, Mannequin American Marketer

Posted: Dec 30 2011, 07:30 AM by chip | with no comments
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How a Puppet Can Improve Creativity


Puppet's Ramblings - from Chip Martin, Mannequin American Marketer

"Hunting without drinking is like fishing."
(Clem from South Park)

Add A Puppet To Your Staff!

Although several of B&M's clients claim to have dummies in their offices, the truth is, they're not that lucky ... they just wish they employed Mannequin Americans.  So, as a public service, here are instructions for creating and using a puppet in your office:

  1. Insert your hand into a sock ... (take the sock off of your foot first).
  2. Place a rubber band over the sock, around the fingers and pull up just past the knuckles. (Now your fingers should act as the upper part of the puppet's mouth and your thumb will be the lower part.)
  3. Stick two eyes on puppet's face somewhere between your knuckles and the tips of your fingers.
  4. Have fun! Let the puppet start talking for you. (Actually, you'll be doing the talking, in case you hadn't figured that out yet.)

Now you can:

  1. Give the puppet credit for someone else's work!
  2. Promote the puppet over someone in the office!
  3. Have the puppet run a staff meeting!
  4. Interview a job candidate with your hand!
  5. Blame the puppet for mistakes, including the people you've hired, the career you've chosen or your life in general!
  6. Let the puppet steer your car!
  7. Have a legitimate reason for talking to yourself!

Is the NYPD's Horse-Recruiting Policy Racist?

The Mounted Unit, established in 1871, has put a call out for more horses; but white ones need not apply. According to the Daily News, "A potential NYPD horse can be any breed except thoroughbreds and must have a coat of bay, black or brown." There must be a reason??

Worlds of Warcraft

Okay, here's a humorous commercial for the Worlds of Warcraft video game. It never shows any part of the game. And it works!

Making New Mom's Feel Bad About Themselves

She hasn't even popped her baby out yet but Jessica Simpson is clearly in need of a fat intervention according to Weight Watchers ... who have offered her $3 million if she promises to start dieting the second the baby starts crowning. "The deal is in place, and after having her baby, she'll start with Weight Watchers to lose her baby weight," said a source.

The move ensures that new moms around the country will learn that becoming an immediate MILF is far more important than, you know ... being a mom.

Why is This so Much Fun?

Old Spice knows everyone just loves to blow stuff up... so the Old Spice guy gives us this as a Christmas treat. In his own words "Do you like explosions? Of course you do. I feel stupid for even asking such a preposterous question. Here you go. Happy Holidays, The Old Spice Man."

Not sure what the whole point of this is... maybe that's exactly the point. All I know is that once I started I couldn't stop. Check it out here.

Vintage Use of Sex to Sell

Let's see ... their job was to sell Esquire Socks to men. So what better way to do that than to use the "smart good looks" of one female model "and the fine construction" of another female model (who isn't wearing any socks). They must have spent a lot of time brainstorming this one.


But here's an even bigger stretch from 1948. Let's not show the product, the logo or any benefits. Let's just subliminally mention that the half-clothed lady has "Her car faultlessly lubricated with Valvoline." 


Holiday Party Sobriety Test Mobile App

A Puppet's Ramblings - from Chip Martin, Mannequin American Marketer

Just in time for the holiday party season, TDA and Webroot launched the Holiday Party Sobriety Test, a free mobile app for Android and iPhone devices, designed to save us all from our inebriated selves. Created to keep us out of trouble, the app provides a series of sobriety tests that can be taken right at the party. Failure of any of the tests triggers a warning to dial it down for the rest of the evening.

While it's definitely the season to be jolly, no one wants all that holiday cheer to follow them into the New Year - and beyond. Remember, the job you save with the Holiday Sobriety Test may be your own. Interested consumers can visit webroot.com/sobrietytest for more information and to download the app.

Posted: Dec 24 2011, 07:30 AM by chip | with no comments
Filed under: ,
Using the "Walk of Shame" to Sell Clothes

A Puppet's Ramblings - from Chip Martin, Mannequin American Marketer


Niagara Falls: They've added a light show at Niagara Falls ... because otherwise it's just a great big, stunning, amazing work of awesome natural beauty. And who wants to see that?

Kansas: A new casino in Kansas may draw 2 million visitors a year. This definitely spells the end of "Uncle Bob's Super-Fantastic Hayride Experience" next door.

Walk of Shame

Okay, I'm just a simple Mannequin American and I'm often "out of it" when it comes to women. Take this ad for example.  I don't get it. Oh, I get the morning ‘Walk of Shame." What looks devastatingly sexy at night often winds up looking devastatingly inappropriate when you're walking home at daybreak. And the ad makes it pretty entertaining for us males.  I just don't understand how Harvey Nichols women's wear can turn it into a "Stride of Pride."?

What do you think? Comment after the cartoon, below.

This is Sort of Fun

Apparently OB Tampons were not on the shelves for awhile and women missed them. So the company is apologizing with an entertaining and personalized video on this OB Tampons site.

It's very clever and worth a look. Enter your name and the site makes a personal apology to you including writing your name in the sky, in a tattoo, on a hot air balloon and more. And for the best part, you can print out a coupon for OB Tampons for yourself or your special someone.  

Another Hangover Cure ...

In spite ... or maybe because of ... the paucity of scientifically tested cures, the hangover remedy has become its own cottage industry ... with big claims and little substantiation.

Enter Blowfish for Hangovers. There's no proof that this self-described cure is any more effective than taking aspirin, caffeine and antacid in another form. But the Blowfish pill does pack a powerful punch, containing 1,000 mg of aspirin and 120 milligrams of caffeine, more than what's found in the typical cup of coffee.

However, the most commonly accepted method of mitigating the harmful effects of alcohol, short of abstaining, continues to be drinking water.

One Reason Why You Can't Look Like a Model


When you're looking to buy clothes, heaven forbid the models showing off apparel all have different, imperfect bodies! That apparent disgust with the human form is perhaps why H&M has admitted to using digital bodies on many of its models on the website, with the heads of real women placed on top.

H&M has admitted to using "completely virtual" computer-generated bodies for most of their women. Their reasoning? You can design just the kind of body to perfectly display clothes to their best advantage (read: to make you want to buy them more), and then draw the clothing onto those nonhuman bodies. Slap a head on -- any head will do -- and you've got a model.

But maybe we shouldn't be too harsh in judging H&M's fake models. After all, initially lingerie ads displayed their products on drawn (fake) women ... like the one above who was drawn without a crotch. So maybe this type of marketing is just going back to its roots.

Of course using real models has its own challenges. The Figleaves Lingerie poster above caused a stir in London and was eventually banned. However the poster and an accompanying video helped boost the brand to a 65 percent increase in sales.

Don't Let This be Your Kids' Brains

Here's a pretty darn effective seatbelt ad with a great visual. "Back seat belts. They're there for a reason." Kudos to the agency that came up with this one.

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