Newsletter Articles that Build Readership

A Puppet's Ramblings - from Chip Martin, Mannequin American

How to Write Newsletter Articles That Breed Readership

"People read for only two reasons: To be entertained and/or to learn something. If the articles in your newsletter don't accomplish at least one of those things, don't bother to publish it because no one besides you is going to read it."
Chip Martin

As an award-winning newsletter editor (I have plaques in my suitcase that verify it!) I've been asked to write an article about writing articles for newsletters. I'm drafting the article while sitting on an airplane. So my first piece of advice is if you're going on an airplane, take a pen. Pencils aren't any good because the TSA tends to confiscate things with sharp points. Also take something to write on. Paper is best; your arm will do in a pinch.

If you have a laptop, ignore the first paragraph. But be sure to use a memory stick.

I prepare for writing newsletter articles by doing back exercises. Pain is distracting. I also do a lot, and I mean "a lot" of research before I start writing. Actually I don't personally do the research. I have "people" for that. Non-professional writers generally will have to do their own research. The point is research is important.

Research helps you to better target your audience and hold their attention. If you don't know who your audience is, trying to hold their attention will be a little like shooting fish with a slingshot in the dark. So before you start writing, define your audience and find out what's important to them ... not what's important to you ... what's important to them.

You'll need a thesaurus and an AP Style book. And you'll have to have a better than average grasp of grammar and a firm grasp on reality ... because good writing isn't easy. Oh, the physical act of writing is easy. That's why so many corporate managers think they can do it. It's the cerebral and creative aspects that are foreign to these individuals. As a result, clueless corporate executives often make a real writer's life absolutely wretched.

Words need to be attention-getting, memorable and persuasive. To put it another way, you need to use the best words and put them in an order that will be attractive to your audience. Ultimately your message should be as entertaining as it is practical. And I don't mean "entertaining" as in "Ha. Ha." (Although that's often a plus.) I mean "entertaining" as in "interesting." In this information-overloaded world, if it's not entertaining (interesting), it's just stuff ... and that's not enough to gain awareness or interest.

Think about it. People (including you) read for only two reasons: To be entertained and/or to learn something. If the articles in your newsletter don't accomplish at least one of those things, don't bother to publish it because no one besides you is going to read it. (Feel free to copy this paragraph and paste it in an email to the executive in your company who continually forces you to publish newsletter articles that no one besides him/her will ever read.)

(Click here to read the rest of this incredibly insightful, useful and entertaining article.)

This is Obviously a Man's Hammer

When a woman uses a hammer to pound a nail, does she think "Hey! This is obviously a man's hammer! I wish I had one that was pink?" Some manufacturers and marketers must think so because they offer pink tools -- just for women from Tom Boy Tools.

And if a woman is debating whether or not to purchase a gun for self-defense ... maybe if it was pink it would be just the thing to get her off the fence.

I have a feeling that the market research behind "pink products" may be too scary for me to handle. I don't think manufacturers would spend the time and money to make pink tools and firearms if there weren't markets for them.

Barbie Has Feelings

Mattel was put in an awkward position this week after Greenpeace launched a social media campaign focusing on the company's use of packaging sourced from Indonesian rain forests. More than 180,000 people viewed a spoof video of Ken breaking up with Barbie over rain forest destruction.

This isn't the first time Barbie has been at the center of controversy. The 1998 ad (above) for The Body Shop debuted a self-esteem campaign featuring the generously proportioned doll named "Ruby." Her Rubenesque figure graced The Body Shop windows in the UK that year. Ruby was a fun idea. But she was not universally loved. In the United States Mattel sent The Body Shop a cease-and-desist order. Their reason: Ruby was making Barbie look bad.

The idea of one inanimate piece of molded plastic hurting another inanimate piece of molded plastic's feelings is so ridiculous that it's funny. (By the way, I've dated Barbie and she's as stuck up as you'd expect her to be. Ruby on the other hand was loads of fun.)

The People's Republic of Roseville, CA

There are many questions schools ask parents of new students during the enrollment process ... age, previous schools, proof of identity, residency, vaginal delivery or C-section ... wait ... what was that last one again?

Some parents in Roseville, CA, aren't too thrilled with being asked about which delivery method was used for the birth of their child. "I really don't think the school asking if the child was delivered vaginally or by C-Section is appropriate," one mom tells CBS13 in Sacramento. School Application Criticized For Birth Questions

The Milwaukee Mile is Back ... for Awhile

JournalSentinel Photo

Last Sunday IndyCar racing returned to the historic 108 year-old Milwaukee Mile with Dario Franchitti winning the 225 mile event.

But before his victory Dario spent some time with his friends Leslie and Dale Brown (above).  Personal note: I don't think Leslie looked this happy in her wedding photos.

In all seriousness, it was really great to have IndyCar back in Milwaukee. Unfortunately underfunded, poorly executed promotional efforts only attracted 15,000 fans and severely jeopardized the race's future. Too bad. It's a great race and a great racing venue. But when you see the number of out-of-state license plates in the parking lot it makes you think Illinois race fans appreciate the event more than Wisconsin fans. Illinois wants the race at its track in Joliet ... and it may get it. That would be a shame.

Why Puppets Don't Drink

Click here to see a funny 30-second clip showing why puppets don't drink.