Time for a Re-Launch
A Dummy's Puppet's Ramblings - from Chip Martin, Mannequin American
Feel More "Joy"
The WSJ reports that sales of P&G's Pantene shampoo are down. So the company did some research and found, among other things, that 25% of women don't want to leave the house on a bad hair day. (I don't want them to leave the house either. Why should the rest of us have to look at bad hair?)
Armed with this information, P&G has re-launched four varieties of Pantene. According to one researcher, "Users of the new versions of Pantene reported more ‘joy' than those in the control group. New Pantene users gave especially high scores to four emotions ... 'excited,' 'proud,' 'interested' and 'attentive.'" So ladies, get excited. Be proud of yourself and of your hair. Try the New Pantene and let me know if you "feel the joy."
This is the Type of Protest I Like
Women in bikinis this week rabbled against the New York City transit system's ban of bikini-themed Georgi vodka ads from various bus routes in Brooklyn. Religious communities in that borough were apparently offended by the butt shots in the ads.
It is indeed a great day for the freedom to protest ... in bikinis.
They Have Hooters in Guatemala?
The "Camouflaged Hooters Ad" above was placed in a Guatemalan publication. It says it's a camouflaged Hooters ad right in the center of what on first glance would appear to be an ad for power tools. The disguised copy explains, "It's done this way so that your girlfriend doesn't find out that you are coming to our Happy Hour." And then goes on to give some details about their Happy Hour. Clever ... unless you just turn the page thinking it's an ad for power tools.
Do We Need Smoked Salmon Flavored Vodka?
Because there is apparently a lack of meat-flavored vodkas in the world, a distillery in Alaska recently unleashed a version of the distilled spirit infused with the unmistakable taste of smoked salmon.
To make their fishy vodka, they smoke the fish then remove the skins and grind up the meat before mixing it with highly concentrated ethanol. This process produces a fluid that contains, "the flavor, rich color and essence of the salmon." The mixture is strained and added to vodka using a "cold infusion process." Then it is filtered a few more times before being bottled and shipped.
If you decide to try salmon vodka ... what am I saying? No one who is intelligent enough to read this blog is going to drink this stuff.
USPS Sends Package Coast to Coast ... Versus the 120 Mile Route
If you've ever wondered why the US Postal Service is running a $7 billion deficit, this story may provide some answers.
Above is a tracking report showing that a package sent from Bell, CA to Bakersfield, CA, a distance of 120 miles, actually traveled 5,586 miles. When the sender called USPS to ask why his package was sent across country and back, the rep said, "I cannot speculate on that." Her supervisor told Jonathan the same thing.
Government agency at work.
Dinner for Schmucks
Steve Carell's new movie, Dinner for Schmucks starts today. Our friend Jeff Dunham has a small role in the film. Click here to see the trailer #2.
Jeff told us that this is Carell's funniest movie to date. So be sure to check it out.
Above is a photo Dale recently shot of Jeff while he was showing the figure used in Dinner for Schmucks to other vents at the International Ventriloquists Convention. Jeff created the puppet. (I took her out for drinks afterwards.) She's now part of Jeff's tour show.
Segal Brings Back the Muppets
Jason Segal of How I Met Your Mother is currently fine-tuning a script for the new and, he hopes, franchise-rebooting Muppet movie.
Segal, who wrote the script for Forgetting Sarah Marshall, explains it this way. "Henson Company created the puppets for Sarah Marshall. And I was at the Henson Company, and I said, ‘Hey, while I'm here, can I maybe see a Kermit and a Miss Piggy?' And they got this kinda sad look, and they said, ‘Um, we don't have Kermits or Piggys. We sold everything to Disney.' And then I under stood why the Muppets have disappeared. The Muppets are something that really have to come from an individual's passion."
So Segal went to Disney and pitched an idea for a new Muppet movie and they bought it.
"Kermit was the original Everyman to me," Segal said. "The original Tom Hanks, the original Jimmy Stewart."
We wish him the best, because we miss the Muppets.
From Jay Walt
(Thanks to everyone who sent me this)
Did Jeff Dunham use Joe Biden as his inspiration when he created Walter? I doubt it. Biden hasn't inspired anyone to do anything, ever. Still, there is a remarkable resemblance.