Potential Risk of Misplaced Indictment
A Dummy's Puppet's Ramblings - from Chip Martin, Mannequin American
A Potential Result of Misplaced Indictment
An Open Letter from Cookie Monster:
It is with greater regret than missing out on the first batch of holiday cookies that Cookie Monster must announce retirement from public arena. Me find current working conditions unacceptable and me not want to be neutered and watered down like bland oatmeal.
A couple years ago, corporate masterminds tried to adjust Cookie Monsters diet. Try to make Cookie Monster be "Fruit and Veggie Monster". As if so many obese children was Cookie Monster's fault. Not Cookie Monster's fault that many parents think fast food good meal for dinner. Cookie Monster not Soda Pop Monster! At least cookies so devastatingly delicious that no one will say cookie not worth the calories. Cookie always worth calories. Hmm...thinking about cookies. One moment please. Ahhhhhh num num num, oh yeah, oh yeah, num num num. Sorry, Cookie Monster sometimes not able to exhibit proper self-restraint.
To get back to point, things change for Cookie Monster over last year. Moved to second class status while annoying anorexic Elmo continues to be front line character. Cookie Monster tired of getting accusatory looks from co-workers. Cookie Monster tired of being forced to peddle tofu. Cookie Monster tired of accounts payable staff always leaving breakroom fridge open making Cookie Monster's milk go bad. Cookie Monster tired of being in skits where Grover lectures Cookie Monster on moderation. Grover not interested in moderation when on PR trip to Vegas, as Cookie Monster can attest. You hear that Grover ... me have video taken from iPhone!
So, goodbye to all from Cookie Monster. This old monster will fade away. Me not care about publicity anymore. Me not care that Cookie Monster lose health insurance and matching 401(k). Me not care about educating children while counting cookies. Cupcakes trendy now, modern society have no place for cookie anymore. Do not worry about Cookie Monster ... me make enough in royalties to retire with comfort. And me will be at Laugh Shack in Madison, WI on January 8th! So, I Cookie Monster, bid the public adieu. Enjoy not being entertained by Cookie Monster's exuberant overeating of cookies. Last piece of advice, please enjoy New Year and eat many cookies ... skip the tofu.
Sex Still Sells ... In Case You Didn't Know
Apparently young men can be convinced to eat Carl's Jr. salads or Burger King burgers by the deployment of female flesh. Who Knew?
Restaurant chains are waging large-scale campaigns to convince people ... okay, mostly young men ... to eat fast food by using the sex appeal of Kim Kardashian and the Burger King "Shower Babe." (In the latter case, viewers get to vote for what bikini she wears while she showers under the leer of a Web-camera. Hey, that's really cool, and not at all evocative of pornography.)
I don't understand what all the fuss is? Judge for yourself. Watch Kim Kardashian's new spot selling Carl's Jr. salads ... it's worth a click ... especially if you're a young man.
It's not as if Carl's Jr. hasn't done this sort of thing before. Above, (or click here) Paris Hilton's carwash commercial for Carl's Jr. caused quite an uproar.
And my favorite ... Padma Lakshmi's Carl's Jr. commercial.
When you see sex used like this in a commercial you can probably figure that the product is actually indistinguishable from its competition. You don't have to stop appreciating the libido-stirring images ... but if you keep my opinion in mind, you may start noticing that some companies are telling you more about their product than they probably mean to.
Thanks for Being so Nice
Our appearances at this season's holiday parties for banks, manufacturers, government organizations, service clubs and other groups will come to an end this weekend. So just a brief shout out to all of the nice people we've met and performed for during December and January. The economy may still be down, but you couldn't tell that from the laughter we heard during the past two months.
Thanks again for thinking of us, thanks for inviting us to be part of your festivities and thanks for all of the referrals. Oh, and thanks for signing up to receive this blog!
Who Knew?
Apparently January 21st was "Squirrel Appreciation Day." I wish someone would have told me that before I nailed one with my pellet gun as the critter ate from our bird feeder.
