Keep Things Simple
A Dummy's Puppet's Ramblings - from Chip Martin, Mannequin American
Big Words Don't Impress Me ... or Anyone Else
Candor, character and caring are being sucked out of corporate communications. Plain, simple, common sense language is becoming a collector's item. Expect to see samples of it for sale on ebay.
Even normal healthy people who can carry on brilliant conversations with their friends, relatives, pets and plants become idiots when asked to give presentations or script messages to co-workers. They immediately pull out phrases like "customized solutions" and "synergistic alliances" so their meaningful points have no chance of getting through.
I've figured out why otherwise decent people need to torture their colleagues, customers and me. It's pride ... the worst of the seven deadly sins.
Their attempts at communication suck because their goal is to impress and not to inform. They want the rest of us to feel slightly inferior so they concoct lofty sounding concepts that can't be expressed in something as mundane as simple English. That's why they use fifty cent words to make five cent points and say things like, "Initiate project action plan," versus "Get started."
They're also afraid. Liability and responsibility have them scared so they avoid commitment by adding endless phrases which are hard to interpret.
"We have metamorphosed from an asset-based pipeline and power-generating company to a marketing and logistics company whose biggest assets are its well-established business approach and innovative people." Huh?
That's an excerpt from an Enron letter to shareholders. The language is evasive; the way it's meant to be. There are no promises or commitments. In fact, it says nothing. I got a headache before I finished reading it.
In contrast, consider wedding vows. "I do." Two short words. Nowhere to hide. No qualifying clauses to relieve individual accountability. Just "I" promise to "do." Even a dummy quickly grasps the essence of that ... which is why I'm still single.
"Bull" has an aroma that people recognize. They don't like it. They don't read it and they don't listen to it. It doesn't change anyone's mind. And it certainly doesn't summon respect.
Invest in straight talk. It pays dividends. And it's easier to say without moving your lips ... which is why the guy behind me inadvertently became a "straight talker."
Amelia Earhart Chain-Smoked Her Way Across the North Atlantic
From copy-ranter: In honor of the movie Amelia, here's an example of a nice sponsorship coup for Lucky Strike commemorating the 1928 "Friendship" flight on which Earhart was merely a passenger. Four years later she became the first woman to fly solo non-stop across the Atlantic.
Testimonial quote from the ad: "They were smoked continuously from Trepassey to Wales. I think nothing else helped lessen the strain for all of us."
Of course in those days even Santa smoked and promoted his favorite cigarettes.
Clever Visual for FedEx
Copy in the lower corner simply says, "Proud sponsor of Canada's national pastime." I would have loved to be in the meeting when the person said, "Hey, I have an idea. Let's wrap a package to look like a hockey rink." Simply brilliant.
Visual of Another Sort
From Great Ads: This print ad for Veet Bikini Kit is disturbing and funny at the same time. It's sort of clever how they use the hair of the two ladies in the background. But at the same time ... I really didn't need to have the suggested picture implanted in my head.
