Are You Ready for a Corvette?

A Dummy's Puppet's Ramblings - from Chip Martin, Puppet
Mannequin American views and guidelines on marketing/PR trends, news from the world of puppets and ventriloquism, bits of humor and other interesting but useless information. I post every Tuesday and Friday. For information on this puppet's background, go to http://www.dale-brown.com/.

It Started in Wisconsin
Thanks to Gene Mueller for this:
It's seven miles long, turns 50 years old this month, and changed your life in more ways than you probably realize.

It's a stretch of interstate between Goerke's Corners (where our office is) and Highway SS in Waukesha County ... and it's the first section of the "I" to officially go on the map. (I wouldn't be surprised if our marketing client, Metal Forms Corp., supplied the forms used in the construction of this historical piece of highway.)

Editors Note: B&M's Director of First Impressions, Leanne, has a personal link to this historical event. The gravel used as a base for this stretch of highway came from a gravel pit on her father's farm which was located near Highway SS.

It happened a half-century ago this month and it signaled the beginning of Wisconsin's inclusion in President Eisenhower's dream of a transit and defense roadway system, modeled after what he'd seen in Europe during World War II.

The Interstate not only allowed the U.S. to move goods faster and at lower costs, but also enabled citizens who worked in urban areas to move to rural areas ... the suburbs ... and commute to work. Life in America was forever changed.

And the Interstate Highway System also produced a new icon that we are all too familiar with.

This is How Denmark Gets Speeders to Slow Down
 
Speaking of highways, those living in Denmark apparently have a carefree attitude about a lot of things including speeding. The Danish Road Safety Council thought it was time for a different approach to enforce speed limits. The country now has Speed Control Bikini Bandits. (Not office friendly) Yes. It's exactly what it sounds like except the Bandits seem to have forgotten to wear their bikini tops when holding speed limit signs and urging drivers to obey the limits.

Click on the link above to witness this witty campaign approach to speed control.  Warning: If your boss doesn't like you watching half-naked women holding speed limit signs while shaking their boobs, you might want to properly angle your monitor before viewing. That's right, the photo above is not exactly accurate.  The Speed Control Bikini Bandits only wear part of their bikinis. If your boss doesn't care if you watch half-naked women holding speed limit signs, give me a call. I think I want to work where you work.

Yet Another Editors Note Involving Leanne: Leanne said that after viewing this video, her husband, Mike, decided to move to Denmark and become a cab driver. No word on whether or not Leanne will be moving with him.

And if You Don't Want to Drive Slow ...
And while we're on the subject of cars, Dale sometimes takes a little flack about his car; probably because it's a Corvette. (Formerly owned by friend and GT1 racecar driver, John Schaller.)

I can tell you that the flack doesn't come from:

• Appreciative valet's who usually just open the passenger door and get in to show Dale where to park his super car. (They seem to know that unless you're the owner, it's nearly impossible to park a Corvette without either setting off every alarm known to man, or inadvertently leaving the car in a mode that will completely drain the battery.)
• The incredible number of strangers who simply stop to admire the car when it's parked on the street or wave to us with thumbs up at stop lights.
• Dale's friends, relatives or racing buddies who know he's a retired racecar driver and a person who appreciates both Corvette's heritage and its technological pedigree ... oh, and he still likes to go fast around corners!

The flack Dale receives is typically from three types of people.

1. Those who don't know anything about cars, don't care about cars, and have no reference points for appreciating cars.
2. People who have allowed themselves to become old. These people have forgotten why it was that they once dreamed of owning a Corvette.
3. A**holes.

Let's face it ... for non-car buffs, the Corvette has an image problem. For some it still gives off an X-Rated-film-star vibe. And then there are the demands of what Vette cultists call "the lifestyle." (The cult's bylaws mandate that all members must spend every Saturday with fellow Vetteheads - doing nothing but looking at, talking about and diaper-buffing their sports cars.)

What the Corvette really is, is a world class super car that has won virtually every professional racing series and amateur shoot out that it has competed in. Although it's pricey, thanks to American ingenuity, it's the most affordable super car in the world.

The Corvette has become an American icon with the largest car club in the world and, like Harley Davidson, it's honored with its very own museum.

So here's your chance to find out if you're the type who should own a Corvette.

  Are You Ready for a Corvette?

Take Dale's True/False Quiz and Determine Your Readiness

1. T F My driver's license has no points against it - yet.
2. T F I'm old enough to be able to afford the insurance.
3. T F I'm willing to hold my breath while trying to get over a speed bump.
4. T F I know the correct answer to "How do you like your Vette?"
5. T F When caught speeding, I'm willing to admit to a traffic cop, "It's worth it."
6. T F If the speed limit was raised to 180 M.P.H., I'd be okay with it.
7. T F When unadventurous stick-in-the-muds tell me I must be experiencing a midlife crisis and have small genitalia, I have enough character to just smile.
8. T F When someone asks if they can have a ride in my Vette, I say, "Would you like to drive?"
9. T F I like getting whistled at, waved at and honked at ... but I could do without the "one figure salutes" from the people in number 7 above.
10. T F Twisting "On" and "Off" ramps are my favorite components of the Interstate System.
11. T F I'm not offended by challenges from non-American sports cars. In fact, sometimes I patriotically kick a**.
12. T F I can accept my spouse's complaints about parking a half mile from the nearest shopping center entrance to help keep my doors from getting pinged. (Note from spouse: A half mile? I wish it was a half mile!!! We're usually close to the freakin' dumpster. Thank goodness it's in storage during the winter.)
13. T F The roar of the motor sounds better than a radio.
14. T F I'm not afraid of low bucket seats giving me leg cramps or a backache.
15. T F I love planning activities and outings with the express purpose of using my car. Of course, those outings can't include grocery shopping, Christmas shopping, or anything that actually requires adequate (read: normal) amounts of trunk space.
16. T F I've bottomed out on a steep driveway without swearing out loud.
17. T F I understand the thrill of 0-60 in 4.2 seconds.
18. T F I can tolerate the wind in my face and a state trooper on my tail.
19. T F The generation gap is smaller in a Corvette than any place else on earth.
20. T F I don't care what non-car people think about me. They quickly disappear in my rearview mirror.

16-20 True - You've got The Fever - Kiss your bank account goodbye and close the generation gap before it's too late.

6-15 True - Senility is closing in. Consider an SUV. Then get out of the way and eat our smoke.

1-5 True - Hopeless - Stick with the old clunker and affordable insurance rates. Hot cars are not your forte'.

Editor's bonus clip: If you'd like to see the Corvette ZR1 do it's record breaking, white knuckle run at the Nurburg ring, click here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k6mEirkQN8o  It's really impressive. The track is nine miles long and incredibly difficult. But you'll be able to see that the driver manages to hit 179 mph through one stretch.