The Value of a Dirty Martini

A Dummy's Puppet's Ramblings - from Chip Martin, Puppet
Mannequin American views and guidelines on marketing/PR trends, news from the world of puppets and ventriloquism, bits of humor and other interesting but useless information. I post every Tuesday and Friday. For information on this puppet's background, go to http://www.dale-brown.com/.

Hard Copy and Blogging News
Here's a "Catch 22" for you.  U.S. newspapers and magazines have something besides dwindling readership to worry about. It's a consumer backlash against ... ready for this ... paper-based publishing products! 

Experts are predicting that "environmentally-minded" Americans will increasingly focus on the connection between the paper-making industry and the problem of global climate change. So we'll have to hope that "smart-minded" Americans point out what the economic consequences would be and what would happen if we significantly diminish the information/education and knowledge sharing that hard copy newspapers and magazines provide.

In a semi-related topic, Technorati released a comprehensive report on The State of the Blogosphere detailing who is blogging; why they blog; topics covered; tactics used to drive traffic and profitability, and much more. Here's a quick look at some results:

• Bloggers are adding new posts at a rate of more than 37,000 per hour. (Shapiro can figure out how many this is per second.)
• The bloggers surveyed have been posting for an average of three years. Two-thirds of them are male and 70% have college degrees.
• Four out of five are personal bloggers who write about topics of personal interest.
• About half are professional bloggers - defined as those who blog about their industry or profession in an unofficial capacity (like this blog).
• About 12% of bloggers blog in an official capacity for their company.
• The majority of corporate and professional bloggers reported seeing a positive impact as a result of their blog. Half said they are better known in their industry. Less than one in 10 has seen a negative impact from blogging.
• While women bloggers are more likely than men to be personal bloggers, they are also more sophisticated about advertising and are twice as likely as men to sell through an ad network and more likely to have affiliate links. They are also more likely than male bloggers to link to other blogs, get listed on a blog directory and produce content for other blogs.
• Four out of five bloggers had posted a brand or product review, with 37% of them posting frequently.
• One-third of the bloggers reported that they have been approached by corporations to be brand advocates.
• Nine out of ten blog about brands that they love or hate. (Interestingly, men and women are equally likely to blog about products or services.)
• 37% of bloggers have been quoted in traditional media based on a blog post.
   

Your Doodie is Our Duty

Here's something very clever and very funny that we got from our friends at Adrants: http://www.diapers.com/'s first stab at online video marketing is "Time for a Change." Positioned like a political ad, it offers "gas relief" and "bi-potty-san support" to frustrated Americans. After walking the talk with some discount codes, a voiceover grandly concludes, "Your doodie is our duty," as the Stars and Stripes hover in the background. Users click straight into the Diapers.com site, where they can put their discount codes to good use.  A practical, humorous site that is well targeted and rewards visitors. 

Some Guys Just Never Lose "It"
 

At 78, Sean Connery can still sell "it." This time the "it" is Louis Vuitton. 

Connery is pictured sitting on a rough wooden pier on a beach near his home in the Bahamas with a waterproof version of Louis Vuitton's Keepall travel bag next to him. The ad reads: "There are journeys that turn into legends. Bahamas islands, 10:07". 007 has nothing on me.  I look the same as I did 30 years ago ...thanks in part to a recent paint job.

Why I Think You Shouldn't Drink "Responsibly"

You think the presidential debates are "sponsor free?" Think again. Ahneuser-Busch is just one of several debate sponsors. Might as well just throw a few taps on stage and serve the audience between questions. The moderator can remind audience members to "tip their candidates."

Which reminds me of a pet peeve of mine. It's the "Drink responsibly," tag you see and hear on all beer and liquor ads.

I don't know about you, but I'm already overburdened with responsibilities: Paying bills. Making deadlines. Filling the tank. Keeping clients happy. Initiating foreplay. Then there's my moral responsibility; civic responsibility; fiduciary responsibility; and personal responsibility. The last thing I want is another type of "responsibility." Responsibilities are the reasons that I'm drinking in the first place.
 
If you want me to be honest, I enjoy drinking. Not out-of-control Mel Gibson, David Hasselhoff or Lindsay Lohan drinking. And not room-spinning, nauseating, vowing "I'll never, ever drink again" college drinking. Just enough drinking to help me briefly overlook the mountain of responsibilities I face daily. Isn't that what alcohol was intended for?

Here's my prescription for safe, but irresponsible drinking ... the Dirty Martini.

I've been told that there's a fine line between a dirty martini and a nasty divorce. I don't know anything about that. But when it comes to martinis I like to quote the highly entertaining author, Dorothy Parker, who said, "I like a good martini; two at the very most. After three I'm under the table. After four, I'm under the host."

But the dirty martini is my cocktail of choice when I desire sophisticated inebriation. There is something genuinely cool about a straight up martini ... the ritual, the shape of the glass, the purity of the liquid, the olives ... so you can eat while you drink. This is a drink for adult Mannequin Americans ... and other types of adults.  Note: Any "tini" made with watermelon, kiwi, chocolate or anything other than gin or vodka is not a martini ... it's liquid stupid ... and it's not "adult."

So if you're like me, or want to be like me, (and who doesn't) give responsibility an occasional rest. Just don't drive! Find a sober ventriloquist to do that for you. (Good luck with that challenge.)

Let me know what you think in the "comments" section.