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A Dummy's Puppet's Ramblings - from Chip Martin
Mannequin American views and guidelines on marketing/PR trends, news from the world of puppets and ventriloquism, bits of humor and other interesting but useless information. I post every Tuesday and Friday.
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Bartelt is B&M's RPS Champion

A Dummy's Puppet's Ramblings - from Chip Martin, Puppet
Mannequin American views and guidelines on marketing/PR trends plus bits of humor and interesting but useless information. For information on Chip's performance schedule, go to

Bartelt Crowned 2008 B&M RPS Champ
The fourth annual B&M Rock, Paper, Scissors (RPS) tournament produced loads of excitement along with a new champion, Bruce Bartelt.

Leslie Bonk, who holds several RPS records and has held the championship trophy for the past two years, won only a single match in the first round of play and was among the first to be eliminated. 

Heather Goeden was in labor at West Allis Memorial Hospital during the event, but still managed to take part in the tournament by gaining a special dispensation from tournament officials who allowed her to register her throws ahead of time.  When other competitors were scheduled to throw against Goeden, they simply made their standard throws and a tournament official then read Goeden's throw from the list she had provided. Using her absentee list of throws Goeden defeated her first opponent, 2005 Champion Steve Borgwardt, 4 to 1.

(Above, Borgwardt ... Margarita in hand, goes down in defeat to an invisible and "in labor," Goeden.)  Borgwardt was never able to recover from that upset and for the second consecutive year was eliminated in the first round. Borgwardt retired to the Margarita bar, as has become an all too familiar custom. (For those who have not heard, Goeden gave birth to a healthy baby girl, Peyton Marie.)

Newcomer Leanne Bennett surprised everyone by shutting out her first three opponents. (Above, she easily defeats Steve Borgwardt ... just like everyone else did.) Bennett then continued her impressive showing by going undefeated all the way to the final round. However, the rookie appeared to succumb to the pressure of championship play--and the fact she found out there was an actual prize for winning the contest--and was defeated in four consecutive throws by the experienced and cagey, Bruce Bartelt.

Bruce had weathered several tie-breakers and last-throw wins on his way to the finals and did not appear the least bit anxious in the final round ... thanks in part to a few respites at the Margarita bar to obtain advice from Borgwardt. In the end, Bartelt's final "paper" defeated Bennett's "rock". 

Bartelt was presented with the coveted B&M RPS trophy and received a $25 gift certificate to Pedro's Restaurant. Bruce was co-designer of the traveling trophy, so it is only fitting that the piece of crap prestigious prize hangs in his office.

Here's One Way to Pi## Away Your Advertising Budget
Am I the only one who doesn't get this ad for Hyundai? "Hyundai. Wherever there is sport."

Okay, I get the "sport" of pissing along side the road. What I don't get is the tie-in to Hyundai. How is this selling cars? Can someone explain this to me? I'm getting a headache from trying to figure it out.

Kill 5 Minutes While Creating a "Cure"
If you've got 5 minutes to kill you'll have fun doing this.  Go to The Drug Inventor site where you can invent your own drug. The site will name your drug, (mine was Chipotox). You can choose whether it's a pill, an ointment, drops, liquid or cream. Then you select what your drug with cure or prevent. Options include awkward first dates, enlarged ego, stinky feet, know-it-all syndrome and many, many more. Then you fill in a few blanks and Cedra automatically creates an ad for your drug which you can email to friends.  It's pretty funny.

I was hesitant to waste my time going to this site at first. But as all my friends know, I'm glad I did because I was able to send them this information on Chipotox Ointment!

TV Funeral Commercial is Anything But Traditional

I'm not big on funerals ... but not for the usual reasons.  Half of my family tree was made into coffins.  Anyway MyWonderfulLife, a new online funeral planning service doesn't believe funerals have to be boring, weepy events that follow the traditional routine. And they have a new TV ad to prove it. It's actually the first funeral ad I've ever seen that's funny ... in a bizarre sort of way.  Click here to see the 20 second spot. It's worth a look because it gets the point across that this do-it-yourself approach means anything can happen at a funeral.

China's Funeral Strippers May be Left Out in the Cold

Speaking of funerals, in China, a large crowd at a funeral is seen as a sign of honor. To help attract more people to funerals, relatives often hire strippers to perform at the events. But the tradition may be coming to an end as officials have ordered a halt to "obscene performances" and say funeral plans have to be submitted in advance. Officials have also said residents can report "funeral misdeeds" on a hotline, earning a reward for information

Posted: Jun 27 2008, 07:30 AM by chip | with no comments


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