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A Dummy's Puppet's Ramblings - from Chip Martin
Mannequin American views and guidelines on marketing/PR trends, news from the world of puppets and ventriloquism, bits of humor and other interesting but useless information. I post every Tuesday and Friday.
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Vents in The Wall Street Journal

A Dummy's Puppet's Ramblings - from Chip Martin, Puppet
Mannequin American views and guidelines on marketing/PR trends plus bits of humor and interesting but useless information. For information on Chip's performance schedule, go to

Ventriloquists Featured on Front Page of The Wall Street Journal
Talk-show host Bill Maher once said, "A ventriloquist has won the 'America's Got Talent' contest, proving that America does not have talent." Maher should know ... he's got the least bit of talent of anyone I've ever seen. I still can't figure out who's working his head.

Anyway, last Friday's Wall Street Journal had a front page article about the "revival" of ventriloquists, recognizing our form of entertainment as "mainstream." (I feel obligated to point out that vents would be nothing without the real stars; their puppets. So the reporter should have interviewed a few of us, to get the real story.)

The article primarily focuses on Terry Fator, (below) but mentions other vents as well. Click here to read the story. Come on, click on it, it's a good read.

I've been featured in the Wall Street Journal already (seriously, I have) so I guess that's why they didn't interview me this time. But Friday's article was interesting and contains an entertaining video clip.  Notice in the photo above that Terry has replaced his old cloth Winston the Impersonating Turtle with a new puppet created by our very good friend,
Steve Axtell. The middle puppet is an "off-the-self" Axtell puppet. So if you own one you won't be able to use it now because people will think you stole the character from Terry. Ha, ha. Too bad for you. Oops. I guess that isn't really funny for anyone who shelled out $ for that character. But that's what you get for dealing in puppet slavery.

If You Can't Live Without Bottled Water
As a follow-up to my previous blog on "Bottled Water," an alien visiting from another planet might think this paying for water that we can get for free out of the tap is one of the most illogical of all human behaviors ... but he would be wrong. He won't have a true understanding of how the human race has "evolved" until he observes humans paying $40 for a bottle of
Bling H2O marketed by none other than this ubiquitous bare-as##d, sex-sells hottie.

The alien might hypothesize anyone marketing a bottle of $40 water must have their head up their butt ... and this ad would certainly confirm that assumption. Seriously, I'd like to meet a person who pays $40 for this water because I have a feeling that they could take my place on Dale's knee and give me a vacation!

We Missed National Doughnut Day

I owe my readers an apology. I neglected to alert you to National Doughnut Day which is always the first Friday in June. Mark it on your calendar. (Note: The word "Doughnut" is often shortened to "Donut. So, if you see the term National Donut Day, it's the same day.)

National Doughnut Day honors the Salvation Army "Lassies" of WWI who were sent to the front lines of Europe in 1917. Salvation Army lassies were the only women outside of military personnel allowed to visit the front lines. These brave volunteers made doughnuts and home cooked foods and provided a morale boost to the troops. Often, the doughnuts were cooked in oil inside metal helmets of American soldiers. The American infantrymen were commonly called doughboys. 

So next year On National Doughnut Day, look to see if your local doughnut shop, or other organizations, are offering free donuts to solicit donations for the Salvation Army or for another needy cause. If you find them, please be generous. For more information on National Doughnut Day and to take a quiz to test your Doughnut knowledge, click here.

I'm Not a Cat Person, But ...
   I'm not a cat person. Not at all. You wouldn't be either if cats routinely tried to use you as a scratching post. Nonetheless, I found a blog post by a cat sitter who I have to admit, I agree with.

The New York City cat sitter complains about being sent a HUGE t-shirt from the Humane Society and how all the marketing pieces the Humane Society sends her are a waste of charitable donations. She makes a good point. Click here to read her rant.

True Numbers Behind the McCartney Divorce

Bob Mikush sent us his take on the math behind the Paul McCartney/Heather Mills divorce.

After 5 years of marriage, McCartney paid Mills $49 million. Assuming they had relations every night during their 5 year relationship (I know I'm being very generous here), it ended up costing him $26,849 per coitus, not counting attorney's fees and court costs.

On the other hand, Elliot Spitzer's call girl Kristen charged $4,000 an hour. At first that seemed high to me. But, had Paul McCartney employed Kristen for an hour a night for 5 years, he would've paid $7.3 million (a savings of $41+ million). So at least on the surface it appears he would have been better off renting. (Bob provided a list of additional benefits, but I discretely decided to omit them.)

More Interesting Numbers

86.6 minutes ... the average daily amount of time spent on the internet by U.S. users.

78% ... percent growth in YouTube over the last 12 months

80% ... percent of online video viewers who have watched an ad online

52% ... percent of online video viewers who have watched an ad and taken some action as a result, such as visiting a web site, searching for more information, going to a store or making a purchase 

Posted: Jun 24 2008, 07:30 AM by chip | with no comments


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