A Golfing Gift for Dad

A Dummy's Puppet's Ramblings - from Chip Martin, Puppet (Mannequin American views and guidelines on marketing/PR trends plus bits of humor and interesting but useless information.)

Internet Ad Revenue Reaches $21.2 Billion
Internet-ad revenue notched $21.2 billion in 2007, an annual growth rate of 26%. That was good enough for the medium to top radio, which was expected, but the figure also puts internet ahead of cable's $20.9 billion take.

Search advertising was the largest category bought by marketers, with 41% of total ad spending, up from 40% the year prior. Display was 34%, up from 32% the year prior.

Golfers' Dilemma is Solved
Scenario: You're out on the links, shooting 18 holes with your buds, sharing a beer or three or six. When you reach the fourth hole nature calls without a restroom in sight. What's a bladder-burdened golfer to do?

Usually this ...

But now male golfers can find relief while making the rounds - with the new UroClub!

The club is designed like a standard 7-iron, but the shaft sports a "leak-proof cylinder that can hold up to a half-liter of liquid." And a triple-sealed cap on top keeps contents from spilling out.

The equipment also features a "privacy shield" towel that can be latched on to the pants or belt before getting down to business. The shield supposedly "adds stability" and "allows freedom of the hands to manipulate the club and zipper" - and any other items that need manipulating.

Just remember to screw the club's cap on real tight. And make sure you don't accidentally try to use the club to hit a golf ball. If you do you may give new meaning to the term "piss-poor play."

What Do You Think?
For a recent promotion Starbucks re-introduced a new version of its original logo on special Starbucks paper cups.  The company was aware that its topless, two-tailed siren may be controversial to some, so the original logo was modified.

The siren's hair was draped over her breasts to conceal her nipples and the siren's midriff was streamlined. Also the company softened her expression, lengthened her hair and generally "cleaned up the design." The goal was to make the changes imperceptible while making the logo acceptable to all. The goal was not reached.

One Washington school district banned Starbucks coffee cups during the limited-time offer -- unless students concealed the creature's breasts with cup holders.

More importantly, the logo redesign handed a publicity platform to a California-based fringe Christian organization with just 3,000 members. The organization took issue with what they saw as sexual connotations. The group and its media-savvy leader got national news outlets lined up to discuss its outrage.

Mark Dice, a 30-year-old Wisconsin native who fronts the CA-based Resistance Manifesto managed to gain significant national media exposure for his group. "If you make a comment about the Starbucks logo, it goes all over the news," he said. "We've made points on various issues before, but nothing has gotten the exposure of this," Mr. Dice said. "This one took off and went viral." (The organization asserts, among other things, that the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks were part of a government conspiracy and that Duke University should change the name of its mascot, the Blue Devil, to something that's not offensive to Christians.) I'll say what you're thinking ... "Why would the media give this type of organization any credence at all; let alone give them a national forum to spew their narrow minded beliefs?"  

Starbucks has long had a reputation as an organization with strong moral conviction. The chain touts its practice of improving conditions of coffee farmers in developing countries, and once banned the Bruce Springsteen album "Devils and Dust" when one track was deemed too sexually explicit.

Adding to the frustration at Starbucks is the widespread misperception that the logo change is permanent. The Pike Place cups were only in circulation during a special promotion.

By the way, here is the original logo and the company's standard logo.

Through additional research I found that the mythological siren depicted on the original and retro Starbucks label is one which appears in medieval churches and monasteries. She is carved atop columns, in friezes and on entablatures. Apparently for almost 1000 years, church goers have not been offended by her. Yet, our media decided to give significant attention to an insignificant organization that used the event to promote their own insignificant agenda and beliefs, while trashing the name and reputation of a reputable company. No wonder my blog is so popular. I tend to error on the side of Mannequin American common sense.

I Think We Already Knew This

Here's something we all knew, but someone decided to study it anyway.

An Australian university researcher has found that couples who meet online do not always work out because they develop emotional ties before meeting in person and select partners who are not compatible. Duh.

The study found that women were more likely to choose the wrong partner as they become attracted to humorous comments and witty emails. (Apparently I could become a real stud on the internet dating scene.)

"Men are going to present themselves as a good catch," said psychologist Matthew Bambling. "People will highlight their good points while covering up anything negative." (Apparently few guys say 'Look, I'm a middle-aged alcoholic who's been married five times, pick me!) Another, "Duh!"

"Just because they can write a clever comment or a witty email, doesn't mean they will be Mr. Right," Bambling told Reuters. Bambling recommends people avoid the problems of online dating by meeting after the first few emails. This helps to avoid over-investing emotionally or creating a fantasy about the other person.

Really, we needed a study to tell us this?

Love is a Many Splendored Thing ... Sort of
Here are 15 funny little "facts" about love. Study them, scratch your head over them, and share them with someone you fancy.

1. Men who kiss their wives in the morning typically live five years longer than those who don't. 
2. Falling in love can induce a calming effect on the body and mind and raises levels of nerve growth factor for about a year, which helps to restore the nervous system and improves the lover's memory.
3. Love can also exert the same stress on your body as deep fear. You see the same physiological responses-pupil dilation, sweaty palms, and increased heart rate.
4. Brain scans show that people who view photos of their beloved experience an activation of the caudate-the part of the brain involving cravings.
5. The women of the Tiwi tribe in the South Pacific are married at birth.
6. Eleven percent of women have gone online and done research on a person they were dating or were about to meet, versus seven percent of men.
7. People are more likely to tilt their heads to the right when kissing instead of the left (65 percent of people go to the right!).
8. The tradition of the diamond engagement ring comes from Archduke Maximillian of Austria who, in the 15th century, gave a diamond ring to his fiancée, Mary of Burgundy.
9. Forty-three percent of women prefer their partners never sign "love" to a card unless they are ready for commitment.
10. People who are newly in love produce decreased levels of the hormone serotonin -as low as levels seen in people with obsessive-compulsive disorder. Perhaps that's why it's so easy to feel obsessed when you're smitten.
11. According to mathematical theory, we should date a dozen people before choosing a long-term partner; that provides the best chance that you'll make a love match.
12. A man's beard grows fastest when he anticipates sex.
13. When we get dumped, for a period of time we love the person who rejected us even more, says Dr. Helen Fisher of Rutgers University and author of Why We Love. Thebrain regions that lit up when we were in a happy union continue to be active.
14. One in five long-term love relationships began with one or both partners being involved with others.
15. OK, this one may not surprise you, but I had to share it: Having a romantic relationship makes both genders happier. The stronger the commitment, the greater the happiness!