How to do More Than Just "Talk At" Your Newsletter Audience

Terry Fator to be at Ventriloquist Convention - More Importantly, I'll be There Too
Our friend Terry Fator, the winner of America's Got Talent, will be appearing at the 2008 International Ventriloquist Convention in July. (Alright, I've never actually met the guy, but I voted for him!)  Dale and I were fans of Terry's long before he appeared on America's Got Talent. He certainly deserves his success and I look forward to meeting him face-to-face.

More importantly, on Friday, July 18^th, Dale and I will be conducting a workshop at the vent convention on "How to Write Original Comedy Dialogs for Ventriloquist Characters". Actually Dale will be conducting that workshop with Louie the Jockey instead of me. I'll be lounging around the pool. (Hey, I'm on vacation!) Leslie Brown, who assists Dale in putting words in my mouth, will be assisting the other two dummies in the workshop.

For more information on the International Ventriloquists' Convention go to http://www.venthaven.com/.

Silly Season for State Legislatures
Mississippi is considering a bill that would make it illegal for restaurants to serve obese people based on criteria prescribed by the State Department of Health. (I'll wait a beat while that sinks in.) I envision restaurants with scales at the door and kitchens keeping records of each patron's body mass. 

Ironically, at the same time Kentucky is considering legislation designed to honor Colonel Sanders of KFC fame. The state seeks to make fried chicken Kentucky's official "picnic food" and specifically mentions Colonel Sander's "Original Recipe". PETA is speaking out against the bill because it maintains KFC chickens are raised in a cruel manner. (I needed a good chicken joke here, but I just couldn't come up with one.) 

Continuing its on-going campaign to amuse me, PETA also has plans to put posters in Manila hotels implying that meat-eating causes impotence. The posters show a motel patron unsuccessful in his lovemaking with the caption, "Eating meat got you down? Get it up. Go vegetarian!" 

I can't make this stuff up.

Improving Newsletter and Email Marketing Efforts - Part 6
If you consistently provide opportunities to learn and to be entertained, team members and prospects can be trained to become loyal readers of your hard copy or electronic publications. B&M has experience in developing newsletters that include recurring content areas that attract and connect with readers ... building a faithful readership base.

To re-engage your readers introduce content that they will see as "value-added," such as:

• How-to tips
• Entertaining factoids
• Cartoons or humorous columns 
• Reader-generated content

In addition you can provide opportunities to interact via:

• Polls
• Contests
• Games that relate to your company's history, branding, products, etc.
• "Ask the Expert" or "Ask the Boss" feature

In short, if you simply "talk at" your audience and bombard them with company policies and procedures, you're doing nothing to build a "habitual readership." And in that case, you might as well save your time and money because your efforts are probably ending up in the circular file or being deleted without being read.

B&M produces scores of effective, award winning newsletters and email marketing tools. We'd be happy to produce a newsletter for you. Or we'll show you how to produce one for yourself. Call Dale at 262-789-1565. 

Drunk Speak
From our good friend, Tim Kaker:
THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN INEBRIATED:
1. Nuclear
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN INEBRIATED:
1. Specificity
2. Anti-constitutionality
3. Transubstantiate

THINGS THAT ARE IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN INEBRIATED:
1. No thanks, I'm married.
2. Nope, no more booze for me!
3. Sorry, but you're not really my type.
4. Where is the nearest bathroom? I refuse to "P" on the side of the road.
5. I must be going home now, as I have to be at work in the morning.